Bigger Than Balance Blog

Perfectly out of balance!

There are just some times that no matter what, life is perfectly out of balance.  Right now is one of those times.  There is that perfect second when I wake up and "forget" that I'm in the middle of moving my life to another country, ahhhh peace, and then reality smacks me in the head!  There is just an impossible amount of things to get done and only a finite number of hours in the day to do them before I crash.  I keep telling myself I should get more done, use more hours, somehow do it all faster...but when it comes right down to it I know that is unreasonable.   Tell that to the host of butterflies in my stomach and the shredder I've almost smoked on numerous occasions!

There are just some times that no matter what, life is anything but balance-friendly.  So what do I do, me a strong advocate of living balance, well first of all I acknowledge how overwhelming it all feels, then I reassure myself that it will all get done...somehow...then I just start something, anything to get me out of paralysis.  One thing leads to another, and another, and another. 

The other side of doing is being.  I remind myself that nothing is going to happen if I am so exhausted that I end up in a heap!  I practice what I preach, making sure I cover all the basics; keep exercising, keep eating well, stay connected to stuff outside the craziness, get enough sleep, find quiet time, and take time to be grateful for the opportunity to experience this time of my life.  When all else is out of control it's the basics that count...that and staying calm.

I have another client right now living out a perfectly out of balance phase of her life.  She is juggling being owner of a children's book store Once Upon a Huckleberry Bush and has also temporarily returned to her previous career working in the movie industry which is always more than full time, add in a toddler, husband, and a total house renovation and it can get messy!  Most moments it all feels slightly impossible, or a lot impossible, but moment by impossible moment she does it.  It means making dozens of difficult decisions a day, saying No strategically, staying grounded, taking care of herself, and remembering the ultimate goal of it all.  Oh yeah, all that and listening to the amazing musings of her 3-year old which sometimes seem to make more sense than our grown-up perspective!

Life is all about opposites.  If you are looking for balance in your life, sometimes you just have to accept imbalance...and it is all perfect. 

I said, Step Into Your "Power Shoes" sister!

  Have you noticed when you are busy 'doing your life', others see you as more confident than you do?  Well of course, we're too busy 'doing'.  We never stop long enough to own what we've just done, so we never feel confident about who we are or what we do.  This is a recurring theme in many of my clients' conversations.

Case in point, my client who recently added her master's degree to her repetoire now has a full year's on-the-job experience under her belt.  Others think she's smart and capable because she shows them, but she feels she's still just a work-in-progress when it comes to her knowledge.  She just can't see what others see....confidence killer for sure.

So I said to her, "step into your power shoes sister!"  I reminded her of the hours of work and progress she has made over the last year, the amount of new experiences she has had that make her a budding expert in her career arena, the way colleagues and clients seek her out for her sound advice and direction.  The accomplishments are there, the only thing missing is self-ownership.  I told her, "own your progress!  Claim your confidence!"  From the silence on the other end of the phone she replied, "I think I'll go and buy myself a new pair of shoes that really fit me".   What better way to begin to own the power of who she is than with an actual pair of new shoes.  Even the blisters will remind her of her hard work!  Bliss to my ears!

It is when we OWN what we know and how well we do it, that we begin to feel powerful enough to let the world see us for who we FULLY are, and that is a cornerstone of self-identity and balanced-living.

Cheers....Dr. Bev

Training your Brain

Here's one that might save you some money.  If you are thinking of purchasing one of those "brain trainers' (there are several of these electronic devices on the market) you might want to think again.

A consumer group asked several experts to evaluate the claims made about such brain training devices and found that the evidence behind the claims was weak or nonexistent and that much of the research was flawed.

If you, like many of us, are interested in keeping your brain healthy along with the rest of you, there are simple ways to do that such as crossword puzzles, sudoku, playing a standard computer game, learning a new task, reading, surfing the internet or chatting online with friends.  These are shown to be just as effective as any of the techie training devices.

Nothing lost, however, if you have already invested money in one of these brain trainers it's a no-brainer (excuse the pun) keep using it.  But if you haven't run out to purchase the latest gadget you might want to choose one of the low or no-tech versions of brain exercise.

Oh yeah, there is always that strategy of exercise, diet and social interaction to keep your brain healthy (you knew we just had to add that)!  You just can't have living balance in your life without a healthy brain!

source: Brain Training claims dismissed

Dr. Toby  

Some things are just so simple...

It's like we are getting hit over the head with this info this week!  It must be research week somewhere.  So, just in case you missed it the first few times, here is another go-round.

"Over 40% of breast and bowel cancer in rich countries are preventable through diet, physical activity and weight control alone, experts say."

The World Cancer Research Fund makes recommendations for "clean living" policies.  According to their report about one third of the 12 most common cancers in high-income countries and about one quarter in lower-income countries could be prevented through diet, exercise and weight control.  That is staggering!

If you would like to read the article and see an interesting table of percentages of cancer that could be prevented through healthy lifestyle go to:  http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7908675.stm

Work-life balance is virtually impossible if you don't have your health.  it can be as easy as swapping out high-fat foods for fresh fruit and vegetables, cycling to work, or taking the stairs instead of the lift.  Really, what could be simpler, and the benefits...more years of living, laughing, loving.  Now that's truly living balance!

Dr. Toby

Rethink that nightly glass of wine

Here's another quick one for women.  With the stress of the times, strain on finances,crazy schedules, and juggling relationships I am hearing that clients are upping their alcohol consumption.  The nightly glass of wine helps us unwind, eases the "frazzle", and sometimes helps you get to sleep...or so we tell ourselves.

Well a new research report from Cancer Research UK says as little as a glass of wine each evening is enough to increase the risk of cancer for women. One drink per day causes an extra 7,000 cases of cancer, mostly breast cancer, in the U.K. each year.  In addition, the risk goes up the more you drink, whether it is wine, spirits, or beer.  Other cancers were also named as being possibly impacted by alcohol for women (liver, rectum, mouth and throat cancers).

The statistics can be unwieldy so I won't go into them all here, but this caught my attention, over the 7 years of this study, nearly 70,000 of the 1.3 million middle aged women surveyed developed cancer and a  pattern was determined with alcohol consumption.

Now, let it be said that there are mixed messages about alcohol consumption. One study shows moderate amounts of wine are good for your heart, now we are told the same could raise our risk of cancer. What to do?

This is an easy one: If you don't drink, don't start.  If you do drink, cut back.  Minor lifestyle change, possibly big impact on life!

If you want to read the entire artlcle here is the link: http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/health/7906355.stm

I need a drink just from typing that link!...ONLY KIDDING!

Dr. Toby

Long hours lead to...ummm, I forgot...

The evidence just keeps coming in that living a healthy lifestyle, one of living balance, is key to staying healthy physically AND mentally.

Our clients, on the whole these days, are tired.  They are working longer hours due to the recession, they are cutting back on outside resources and help, both at home and at work, some are taking on more than one job, and all this means they are really feeling the squeeze.  Well this current research indicates that, indeed, working those long hours does have a deleterious effect on mental functioning.

A Finnish-led study of over 2,000 middle-aged civil servants, followed for over 2 years, showed that those who worked more than 55 hours per week exhibited poorer mental skills than co-workers who worked a standard work week.

A series of tests over time showed that problems with short-term memory and word recall were linked to longer working hours. AND, the effects were cumulative; the more hours worked per week, the worse the test results.

According to the lead researcher, "The disadvantages of overtime work should be taken seriously."  Employees with longer hours also had shorter sleeping hours, reported more depression, and increased alcohol consumption.

What we need to know now is whether these effects are long-lasting and if longer working hours predict possible future problems with increased risk of dementia.  The research will go on.

Here's the good news: we already know that risk of dementia can be reduced by maintaining a well-balanced diet, social interactions, and exercise for both body and mind.  (Unfortunately these are often the very things that get left behind when under increased stress).  Living a balance-friendly life seriously needs to be considered amongst those factors that have been shown to reduce our risk of mental and cognitive difficulties, as well as many other health problems.

We hear you, right now during these difficult financial times, companies are cutting back on resources, people are doubling up jobs or taking on extra work, and even "career experts" keep extolling the need of always being present and available to "show" the boss that you are keen! The pressure is real. It's great to be keen, but it's better if you can remember where you work! 

So even in these terribly worrying and practically difficult times, make a commitment to take care of yourself. We call it Proactive Wellness and it doesn't have to be fancy, but it is one of the Non-Negotiables in our model of Living Balance.  Just focus on the basics: don't skip meals, get some activity during your day, demand a minimum of 6 hours sleep for yourself, drink enough fluids to stay hydrated, and make rest and relaxation one of your priorities.  Practice these basic habits long enough and they will become second nature to you, and the thing is, whatever your work, if you are rested, relaxed, healthy and happy you will be way more productive.  It's definitely a win/win!

Dr. Toby

QQ: Quotes to Questions - October 28, 2008

QQ:  quotes to questions!

Quotes and questions to inspire change and provoke discussion. Subscribers in Canada, the U.S., the U.K., the Middle East & Asia are reading this week’s QQ.

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QQ:  Four thousand volumes of metaphysics will not teach us what the soul is. (Voltaire)

QQ:  What leads you to your soul?

How to achieve your life goals

 

Recently I sent an email to all my clients to keep them up todate with my work life plans.  It was one of those spur of the moment things.  The idea--to use any tool you have to keep yourself focused on your goal and actively coping with barriers that life presents.  Here's how it went:

Hi All:  Just thought I'd share one of my tips for 'keeping the dream alive' with all of you.  I am busy planning and selling the house to move to London, UK and it has been tough this year keeping my eye on the prize when the markets have crashed and housing markets are tumbling.

However to keep the dream real and alive in my mind, I put photos of my 2007 London trip on my desktop. Here's this month's view.  This is what I wake up to each and every day and it makes me smile. I can actually SEE where I am headed in my life.  

The feedback from clients was a big surprise because it came swiftly!  Several have adopted their own desktop dreamscapes to help them reach their goals.  Hurray for goals and ahhhh London.  Be with you soon! 

QQ: Quotes to Questions - October 21, 2008

QQ:  quotes to questions!

Quotes and questions to inspire change and provoke discussion. Subscribers in Canada, the U.S., the U.K., the Middle East & Asia are reading this week’s QQ.

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QQ:  When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you. (Lao Tzu)

QQ:  Are you still looking at that half empty glass?

QQ: Quotes to Questions - October 14, 2008

QQ:  quotes to questions!

Quotes and questions to inspire change and provoke discussion. Subscribers in Canada, the U.S., the U.K., the Middle East & Asia are reading this week’s QQ.

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QQ:  Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all? (Evil queen, Snow White)

QQ:  When you look in the mirror do you see who you love?