How many people try to avoid decisions! Let the truth be known, you simply cannot live a balance-friendly life without decision making. Nope, as hard as you try, making decisions is essential to living balance. You are a decision making machine…time for a tune-up.
So what is it that “gets” people about decision making? A lot of people get tripped up trying to make the “right” decision, some go so far as to secretly believe there is a “perfect” decision hiding out there somewhere, then there are those who believe, “I’m bad at decision making” or ‘I don’t know how to make decisions” (so you know, those people are still in bed today unable to make the decision to get up)…toss in all the stress many people feel before making a decision, after making a decision, during the decision….that about covers the woes of decision making. Oh wait, people will not approve of your decision, that is also on the hit parade.
Truth is, it’s not that hard, every single person has the ability to make a decision and every single person has the ability to improve their decision making process. Yes, it is definitely time to tackle your beliefs about decision making.
3 Misplaced Beliefs about decision making, in no real order of importance, they all get in the way!
#1: There is a right decision, hey maybe even a perfect decision! Looking or waiting for the perfect decision is like looking for the fountain of youth…keep seeking and you will be old by the time you find it! Same goes for decisions, keep looking and looking and you will probably miss an opportunity or two! There is rarely, if ever, a “right” decision or a “perfect” decision, there is the best decision you are able to make given what you know at that time. If what you know or what you need changes…make another best decision.
# 2: I am bad at making decisions. Many people have been told they are bad at making decisions and others confuse the stress they feel around decision making as reflecting that “so-called” inability. Time to shrug off this bad press because keeping this erroneous self-belief simply heightens your fear of decision making. Problem is, decisions are always going to be required of you, why not tune-up your skills and get good at it?
#3: I do not know how to make a decision. Taken to the ridiculous, this would mean that you went to work naked this morning! We all know how to make decisions, we do it from morning to night non-stop, we just do not recognize many ordinary decisions as being actual decisions. Time to change what you are telling yourself.
Why do you want to get good at making and owning your own decisions? Consider these reasons:
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The ability to make decisions is a gift of our human brains. If you embrace this ability you can change your life.
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Your decisions, regardless of what they are about, can reflect your beliefs, values, dreams and intentions. Your decisions offer a sure-fire route to integrity.
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Making a decision brings a sense of personal responsibility, builds your confidence, and increases your sense of personal power.
5 More Misplaced Beliefs about Decision Making…How many do you believe?
I need more information before I decide: So I’m going to survey everyone I know and maybe a few strangers on the street for good measure! Result is often info overload and confusion to boot. If you are a “more info junky”, figure out if it is because you are afraid to make a commitment to a decision or if you are seeking the “perfect” decision.
I’m easy. I can go along with what everyone else is deciding: Are you sure? Of course there are going to be times when it does not matter and you are just fine letting someone else decide. However, if this is a global pattern for you and yet you are often resentful or unhappy with the results, maybe it is time to get honest about who you are and what you really want. Participate in the decision process and reap huge rewards.
It’s not that important, I’ll sit this decision out: Not every decision is life and death, but making and owning decisions is important, always. If you don’t you are reinforcing your belief that you “cannot” make decisions.
When I decide my decision cannot be altered: Decisions are living things. A smart decision often evolves, needs amending or updating. You are even allowed to simply change your mind. This belief just keeps you paralyzed and fearful of moving forward.
If I wait long enough I will not have to decide: Nice dodge! Choosing not to choose is a powerful decision. Sure, it may mean you are off the hook…or it may mean you have lost an opportunity to exercise your choice. If you think you are eliminating your risk factor, think again, not deciding is sometimes the riskiest thing you can do.
I need others to accept or approve of my decision: Of course it is nice to feel validated, but it is absolutely not necessary. You have to accept and approve of your decision. If a decision is directly going to affect someone in your life, you will make every attempt to include that person in the process of deciding. If the decision is about your life and your life only…it’s up to you.
Building balanced solutions
Here are 4 simple methods to apply to your decision making repertoire:
Think E.T.C: This is a simple tool to vet certain decisions. Ask yourself do I have the energy to do what is required by this decision; do I have the time required to support my decision; and most importantly, do I have the clarity I need to make this decision (am I clear about what is required, what I want, what I need)?
Coin flip: One of our favourite methods. Low tech, simple, requires only a little manual dexterity and a lot of honesty. You know the drill, get a coin, figure heads the decision goes west…tails the decision goes east…toss the coin. Here is the magic. If it comes up, say tails, and you find yourself hedging your bet with…let’s do the best 2 out of 3…or I didn’t do it right let me try again…or this coin in broken…you have your answer. Think about it, it will become obvious. (ok, for those of you who don’t get it, if you keep tossing, you actually know what you want you just won’t admit it!)
Pros vs cons: The classic method of making a list of all the positives that will come from your decision and then all the negative, weighing the costs and benefits and then deciding. It is definitely a good tool for sorting out your thoughts, sometimes there will be an obvious answer. Only glitch we have found is that many people are really, really good at coming up with all the negatives or cons, and not so good at seeing any positives, so you end up with a lopsided list that doesn’t really offer a clearer view of your decision. Having said that, it is a good consistent tool.
Develop a scenario: Sometimes we need to play it out to see if a decision is going to fit for us. So imagine how it will go and write down a couple of options for the outcome.
if I choose A the outcome will look like this…..
if I choose B it will look like this…
Then take a step back and consider, which outcome works best for you? Here you could run it through the E.T.C. formula.
Think about it, decision making is one of the sure things that contributes directly to designing and living the life you want, a life of living balance. Don’t like how your life is going? Make different decisions. Remember, you build your life each and every day through the decisions you make.
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