Bigger Than Balance Blog

Too worried to sleep? Try our brain-drain method.

I hear this too often to ignore.  "I can't sleep, I'm just too worried"  or  "I'm so worried it wakes me up"  or my favourite, "As soon as I open my eyes I'm awake with worry!"

These are declarations of many of us who live busy, stressful lives trying to get done what needs doing and remember whatever we missed!  Do you recognize yourself?  If so, there is a simple solution...Make worry a habit!

You heard it correctly.  If you make a point of making time to worry, then you open new amounts of time for sleep.   Disciplining your mind to worry is beneficial.  It's the brain-drain the doctor ordered.   This is how it works:

1.  set aside a regular time each night close to "lights out" to worry.

2.  set aside a regular amount of time for the worry itself (10-30 minutes max.).

3.  get a pencil and notepad and jot down what's worrying you (braindrain it), then jot down your best-thinking solution to solve it.

4.  if you wake up worrying during the night, write it down then turn off the lights.

5.  tell yourself you cannot do anything about the worries until morning.

Done regularly, you will start to look forward to that anticipated brain-drain before sleep.  Then when you crawl between those beautiful 400 threadcount sheets and your head hits the fluffy feathered pillow, you will be pleased with that strange new habit you formed!

Dr. Bev

Smart Sleep helps avoid burnout

So many people complain about not getting a good sleep, not getting enough sleep, or taking a long time to fall asleep.

I was reading a RealAge article(http://www.realage.com) on 'sleep hygiene' which I thought was a great concept.  Now we can look at taking care of sleep in the same way we take care of our dental hygiene.  As coaches helping successful, overstretched women, we certainly believe in the importance of self-care behaviours that create a more balance-friendly lifestyle, rather than a state of recurring burnout.

Taking the time to create better sleep patterns is an important investment in your 'sleep hygiene'.  Instead of dropping into bed exhausted, try these suggestions:

1. keep a regular bedtime and waking time, even on the weekends

2. create a regular routine approaching bedtime like a warm bath, listening to soothing music, journal entries, meditation.

3. create a beautiful and comfortable environment for sleeping--a comfortable bed and mattress, soft linens, cool air, soothing colours and low light.

4. keep your bedroom a place for sleep not work, so that nothing reminds you of your to-do's.

Done regularly, each routine that expands your hours of zzz's and reduces those early morning worry-fests, makes for that 'smart sleep' we all long for.

Dr. Bev

Sleep Deprived...and proud of it?

In our society, depriving yourself of sleep to work long hours seems to be a badge of loyalty and commitment, and a point of personal pride along the road to personal success...or so we think.

The CBS Morning show (June/08) did a report on 'lack of sleep' and how it impacts our health and mental alertness.  40% of Americans reported being sleep deprived AND 60% of women said "they never get enough sleep".  This is not new news to any woman who works double duty to get through her days.  The report's importance to us, as burnout and balance experts, pointed out that we are relegating sleep--an important human function--to the lowest priority in our unbalanced lives.

Simply taking a power nap of 20-40 minutes during the day can leave you feeling rejuvenated and refreshed, 60 minutes relaxes and replenishes the muscles, and 90 minutes strengthens creativity and memory.  The report named 3 power-nappers who never miss(ed) building time into their day to fit in a nap--who?  Former presidents Ronald Raegan, Bill Clinton and world cyclist Lance Armstrong.

I know, I hear you...there is no time during the day to sleep!  Could you find times during your workday to get yourself some zzzz's..maybe coffee breaks, lunch hours, pre-presentation...?  One smart guy, tired himself of business jetlag, decided to turn napping into something hip and sophisticated...a napping spa in the city that never sleeps New York.  Check out Yelo  (http://www.yelonyc.com), he elevates the need to sleep to a level of priority for all of us on-the-go, go-getters. 

Then there is that other bit of news from RealAge.com (http://www.realage.com) that 6-8 hours of sleep a night can make your real age about 3 years younger!

So...an extra hour of work...OR...an extra hour of sleep?   What will it be?

 

You can't manage your time but you can manage your calendar

Recently an international client was feeling the pinch of a jam-packed work schedule on a daily basis: mornings felt rushed, evenings were stressed instead of being an oasis of relaxation, and the work day itself...well, let's just say, it's a high, high pressure job.  She's been a client of ours long enough to know the mantra, you can't manage time but you can manage your calendar whether that's on a daily basis, or over a week, month, or year.  So we put our heads together (or at least our headsets) and decided to use the chaos of her schedule that month, since it included travelling through multiple time zones, to re-jig her schedule.  You know the saying, "if you can't beat them..."

Don't be afraid to ask for help!

Balance your skills!  Asking for, and accepting help is an essential balance skill and a great stress reducer.  Too many people believe that asking for and accepting 'help' is needy, weak, and shows the world how stupid they are.  They say things like, "I could never do that" and they don't.  Result...they are stuck with unanswered questions, don't know where to search, and resentful that others seem to get what they want.  Fact is, it is impossible to 'know and do' everything yourself and expect to live with balance in your life.  If you don't know how to do or get something...just ask!

Every action (or non-action) creates a result (or no result).  This is not rocket science.  If you reach out and ask--you get options.  "Yes"  "No", "I don't know but I know someone who does".  Receiving responses gives you direction to take the next step towards your goal.

Case in point happened to me the other day.  I confess...I had to learn to ask.  So, I ASKED 3 people in London, UK (my move destination), to help me find information or somebody to assist me in the MOVE (See our Burn the Boats category posts).  My email box this morning delivered.... 4 emails in response and I got option:  "Yes, send me all your questions and I'll make enquiries",   "I'll defer you to so&so, she knows property better than I",  "I've sent your request to my club members, someone will help you",  2 club members replied (total strangers to me who live in UK) with websites and nice hellos.

Who said people aren't helpful.  You just have to get beyond your barriers and reach out.  If I hadn't asked, I would have blocked the new information and just as significantly, I would never have received and experienced the kindness and caring.  That's big in this conflict full world we all live in.

Now I'm off to do my "thank yous" and explore my new information in order to take my next steps.  If I have to reach out and ask for help again, I will not hesitate.

And you?  Break free from your excuse and pride.  Ask...reach out...stress reduction guaranteed.

Dr. Bev

What's singing got to do with it?

Here is a great stress management strategy straight from a client! My client/friend is going through a pretty major divorce and at times finds herself in what she calls one of her "pity parties".  I really respect her resolve to not let these events take her down. Here is what she does.

She sets the timer on her stove for 15 minutes. That's 15 minutes of pure feeling sorry for herself, feeling down or simply wallowing. At the end of the 15 minutes she puts on her favourite music...LOUD...and sings her heart out! Brava!!!  If the first go 'round doesn't do the trick, she's back to the timer for another 15 minutes of funk, then it's time to belt out the hits! You go girl...What's love got to do with it!!!! Thank heavens for Tina Turner!

She's on to something real here. You see, our brain doesn't do well at handling opposing emotions. Nope, you can't experience two opposite emotions at the same time. You can "think" about the emotions together, but not experience them. There is no way your brain can feel self-pity and sing for joy all at once. Brain simply will not cooperate!

Try it, next time you are having "one of those days" or moments, get in touch with your inner Diva! Sing your heart out, dance up a storm, hey I even had a client who held her own "talk" shows, interviewing herself about all sorts of relevant topics. According to her inner critic she was a hit! So if you are looking for a new slant to stress management, try something really creative next time.